A Moment of Clarity
by lynnmichelle
Summary: Tony and Ziva don't talk about their feelings towards each other. Not to each other. Not to anyone. Sometimes they don't talk at all. And sometimes out of the silence comes a moment of clarity. TIVA.
1. Chapter 1

_I have been away from writing for such a long time that I made it one of my New Years resolutions that I would write a story, complete it and post it. For the first time in my life, I have actually fulfilled a new years resolution!!! I needed to get past my writers block with a new fandom though so I hope you are ok with my joining the wonderful world of NCIS. (BTW - for those of you who were reading Blameless or Lost at Sea I have also promised myself that those will be finished - it will happen I promise.)_

* * *

It had been a long hard winter, filled with half-hearted snow storms, slush and unprecedented cold. You might have thought that the residents of the greater DC area would have clung to each other in warmth but with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continuing and the current administration deploying more troops in the hope that the conflicts would end sooner, spirits within the military were not running as high as anyone would like.

Tempers seemed to run conversely to the temperature, which ensured that NCIS had been busier than normal in January and February. Cases overlapped as the bodies piled up – domestic violence, corruption and simple hatred were among some of the many motives which left Gibbs' team tired and questioning their faith in the world.

Just when it was all becoming a little too much, they woke that morning to the sound of birds signing as an early spring day descended on the Capital. Nobody died under their jurisdiction that day. Nobody was caught embezzling from the Armed Forces. Nobody fit the description of an outstanding BOLO.

Gibbs left the office at lunchtime and didn't return. No one asked why. It was not a day to worry.

McGee decided to catch up on his paperwork. Abby took a breath and focused on her overdue diagnostics. Tony and Ziva looked at each other for an instant, grabbed their coats and walked quickly towards the elevator and out of the Navy Yard without a backwards look.

And that's how the partners found themselves sitting al fresco, sipping coffee at a cafe in Georgetown. Both had discarded their coats to one of the four metal chairs at the table and Tony was leant back in his seat, two feet on the opposite chair, sunglasses on, eyes closed, face raised to the sun. Contentment was visible to anyone looking and Ziva was looking.

Not obviously staring but surreptitiously eying him from behind her designer shades. She liked seeing him this way although in her opinion it didn't happen enough. Sure he smiled a lot, joked around and sported a cheesy grin, but the contentment was rare. She took the opportunity to look at his bone structure, his hair, his physique, the way he wore his clothes and, as usual, she appreciated what she saw. He was a very good looking man.

That had never been in doubt for her. What was in doubt was his feelings for her? No that wasn't quite right. His loyalty to her? No that didn't really fit either. His intentions?

She shook her head minutely, the only outward sign of the frustration she felt about the situation. She continued to struggle with her feelings towards her partner and the strong emotions he provoked.

Trust was still an issue.

Ziva sighed and reminded herself that time had passed and she was living here now. She knew that things had changed in their relationship since Somalia, since Michael, since he had saved her. She knew that it would never be the same again but that was the only way it could be because she had changed. Irrevocably. She wasn't better or worse she had come to believe. Just different and she was coming to terms with that on a daily basis.

As she looked at Tony she knew he had changed as well and she had been the cause of that change. He wasn't the happy-go-lucky frat boy she had met only four years earlier. He wasn't dating and where as in the past he would have done everything, up to and including fabricating evidence, to demonstrate that he had a girlfriend, he didn't bother anymore. He just didn't talk about having a love life anymore. Or his need for one.

She remembered the words he had said to her in Somalia. "Couldn't live without ya I guess." A twinge of guilt hit her and she wondered for the hundredth time if she had changed Tony or if it was simply due to the circumstances they faced together in Africa. She'd also noticed a change since his father had visited DC. He seemed distracted, as if he were reassessing aspects of his life. On some days his confidence waned and on others it soared. It was as if he were trying on new clothes to see which style suited him best unable to make up his mind.

She was actually very thankful that Anthony DiNozzo Snr. had turned up that day in January. In the short time she had spent with the older DiNozzo, she had received insights into Tony's upbringing that she had only speculated upon before. He had been troubled by the presence of his father but from what she could tell, he turned to Gibbs for counsel. That was fine by Ziva since she had found herself turning to their boss more than once in the past as it related to her own 'Daddy issues'.

Ziva sighed once again and the sound reminded Tony of her presence.

An expert at surveillance, he didn't move his body except to open his eyes and turn them on his partner. He immediately noticed the frown on her face and wondered what was troubling her. With everything she had been through recently he knew there were many issues from which to choose. Tony had spent more than a couple of sleepless nights laying in bed thinking of Ziva's potential issues and came up with at least a dozen. He knew that it was destructive to invest so much time in the woman but he found it impossible to stop. He hoped that one day he would grow out of his fixation with Ziva David but it had only gotten worse when she had decided to stay in the US permanently. His happy ending, which had only been a fairytale in the past, was now a possibility. A far fetched possibility he knew, but a possibility none the less. His hopes had been raised and he knew he had to bury them back where they belonged.

He had tried to turn his affection for her into a slightly different kind of emotion, deciding it was best if he merely viewed her as a "little sister". He teased her mercilessly about her upcoming citizenship exam and her probationary agent status. But when he was close to her and he could smell her hair and feel the warmth radiating off her body, his thoughts were far from brotherly. He had freaked himself out so much by the whole incestuous line of thinking that he had considered either the 'platonic friend' route or the 'complete ignoring of the situation' option.

Deep in his subconscious Tony feared that one day it would all be too much for him and he would have to walk away from NCIS to stop his heart from breaking. Luckily those thoughts only surfaced when he was asleep and the bad dreams were forgotten in the split second after waking. So he had found himself experimenting with a mix of the two – he was Ziva's friend while trying to ignore the feelings he had for her.

That coping mechanism seemed to have been working okay for him until they were sent to collect a witness from Paris and then things became more than a little complicated. Why, oh, why did they have to end up sharing a room he just didn't know. A mistake with the reservation they said. Huh! More like the Universe continuing to screw with him. And how on Earth do two Federal Agents end up with the most incredible view of the Eiffel Tower, a jacuzzi and just one freaking bed? Usually they had to bribe someone just to get cable and use of a mini-bar.

Sharing a hotel was one thing. Sharing a bed was an entirely different matter.

He had vowed that nothing would happen between them that night and from the viewpoint of most guys, nothing did. But when Tony looked back he knew that no matter how corney it sounded, they would always have Paris.

TBC

* * *

_I hope I got the characterizations right on this one and it looks alright to you guys - I'm a bit rusty so please let me know. _


	2. Chapter 2

The weather had been unseasonably warm in Paris and they had sat on the balcony for most of the evening relaxing after their long flight. They sipped a dry Champagne Ziva ordered from room service (her treat she had insisted) while enjoying a very good fois gras that they had slathered on a baguette. They discussed the flight and Tony thanked her for booking them on Air France instead of one of the domestic airlines. Flying economy class sucked at the best of times but eight hours of coach was only slightly less sucky than nine hours of coach. But on the flight that day they were given a menu of very tasty French food to choose from, complimentary drinks including a Champagne aperitif, a very decent cabernet sauvignon with the meal and an after dinner cognac to top off the experience. Drinks were available in the self-service galley throughout the flight and the time flew by as Tony caught upon the new releases he had missed at the movie theatre due to the recent crime wave.

Back on the balcony, the meal moved on to a main course of seared scallops matched with a wonderful Sauvignon Blanc and the conversation switched to the topic of the case at hand. A dessert of chocolate profiteroles found the discussion veering to more casual topics including Tony's surprisingly positive critiques of the movies from the plane and Ziva's unsurprisingly low opinion of the airport security.

They sat close together, moving closer still during the evening until their legs rested against each other by the time she mentioned the lateness of the hour. The only measure of time they noticed were the lights twinkling on the Eiffel Tower at the top of each hour and they had witnessed that beautiful spectacle five times before they moved in from the rapidly cooling night.

Contrary to what they later lead McGee and their witness to believe, there was no discussion between the pair about their sleeping arrangements that night. Ziva changed in the bathroom into loose fitting pajama bottoms and a white tank top while Tony changed in the bedroom into loose fitting pajama bottoms and a fresh white t-shirt. As Ziva entered his line of sight, he took in her new attire, as she did his, and they both laughed quietly. She climbed into the right side of the bed and he the left. Ziva knew that Tony had turned his body towards her and was looking at her openly, a small genuine smile gracing his features. She also knew that she wasn't ready to deal with what stood between them and so, with warmth spreading throughout her body, she fell asleep.

Tony had watched her sleep for at least an hour, taking in every inch of exposed skin, every eyelash, every breath. He finally gave in to the tiredness knowing that he loved her more that night than he ever had and that those emotions were not going to leave any time soon.

They woke the next morning within seconds of each other as the light spread through a crack in the heavy curtains at just the right angle to hit the pillow upon which their heads rested. Ziva blinked quickly, her eyes quickly adjusting to the brightness while her mind adjusted to the feeling of her body lying in Tony's arms. She felt secure and content and didn't move even when she felt his body's normal reaction to the morning hard against her. To his credit Tony didn't flinch, knowing if he did it would break the moment in which they found themselves.

After a few long minutes Ziva had looked backwards over her shoulder at him and with a shyly smile simply reminded him that they had a witness to find. He nodded, slipped out of bed, showered and dressed, stopping only to ask if she wanted to go sightseeing with him. Although she had wanted to say yes, she had realized by then that she was a little shaken by the intimacy she found herself surrounded with upon waking and needed some space. They had agreed to meet at a café next to their hotel and went their separate ways both unsure of where things would go from there.

* * *

Tony was brought back to the present as someone entered his peripheral line of sight. His 'spidey senses' told him it was nothing to worry about. He relaxed but continued to take in the scene before him. A woman in her late twenties had taken a seat at the next table. She was pretty but that wasn't the reason she held Tony's attention. She was obviously exhausted showing dark bags under her eyes and fighting back a yawn but at the same time she looked ridiculously happy. Completely and utterly content.

She turned and he noticed the red stroller, or was a 'Bugaboo' a pram, that was parked next to her at the table. She reached on past the hood and retrieved a tiny bundle of pink that he could only describe as a beautiful baby girl. As an only child he didn't have any nieces or nephews. None of his team had children now and his friends who did had drifted away from him. He was the typical bachelor. Young, free and single.

Although he wasn't.

He was rapidly heading for his fortieth birthday and was not so secretly in love with his partner. He was strangely drawn to the idea of settling down and knew now that he wanted kids. Plural. And he wanted them with Ziva, his ninja assassin, a point of insanity that was in no way lost on him. He chuckled to himself at the absurdity of the idea and turned reflexively to look at the subject of this thought. His laughter faded though and the sight before him took his breath away.

Ziva was looking at the baby with the sweetest most genuine smile on her face. She had removed her sunglasses and he could see the minute shift of her eyes as they moved between the baby's face and her tiny fingers. And for the first time it was clear to Tony that this was what she wanted for herself. A family. A future.

And her recent choices now made to total sense to him.

He took his glasses off and she looked directly at him, made eye contact and held his gaze all the while keeping her smile in place. He instinctively knew it was time and he reached his hand across the table to take hers. She didn't resist and lightly squeezed his fingers in reassurance. Tony's face broke out into a huge grin and Ziva couldn't hold back a small laugh.

And in a moment of clarity their future began. Together.

The End.

* * *

_Yes, I know. It was fluffy but it's my story so I can have a happy ending if I want one. I hope that's ok with you :-)_


End file.
